Volume 13

Are you looking for articles that were posted during a certain period of time? Now, the Article Search features lets you ask for articles by date; on, before, after, etc.

These are only a few of the new things you're going to find at Being a Man™ over the next months. Stay tuned, we have some very exciting new features coming that will help you learn and improve every aspect of your dating, relationship and sex lives!

Relationship/Sex Tips

One of the most common questions I get asked is about why so many Internet-based relationships fail so quickly. The Internet seems like an easy, no-danger way to meet a bunch of people quickly. In a way it is, but as with any good thing, it's fraught with problems.

I hear you asking, "Is there really a difference between the Internet and Real Life relationships?" You bet there is!

Many of these letters start off with, "I met this [guy/girl] on the Internet and we really hit it off..." then they proceed to tell me how they fell in love and had such an intense reaction in such a short time only to find that the other person stops writing and calling them.

Anyone that has ever started an Internet-based relationship knows that it's entirely possible (and even easier) to fall in love over the Internet than it is in person. There are many reasons why this is so, but the most important of these are:

	Your mind filters out a bunch of information that doesn't related to your goal - finding someone.
	You are prevented from getting all the usual visual and auditory impressions that you'd get in an in-person experience with someone.
	We tend to apply our own interpretations in place of those that would normally naturally be formed by meeting someone in person.
	The other person has much time to think and react to things before they send an actual response. It's much easier to craft a response that "fits" this way!

You have to take extra care with Internet-based relationships in order to see them clearly.

The real trick then is to move any Internet-based relationship to real life as soon as possible; as soon as you know that you have something worth pursuing. You have to be very careful about not falling in love with someone you haven't met. This doesn't last very long and in fact, will prevent you from seeing the real person.

Reader Question

Hey Doc:

Thanks to your books, I have absolutely no trouble approaching women anywhere. I can get dates (and make sure they show) and even convert to sex. My problem now is how to turn dating into a relationship! I seem to get only so far along. What am I doing wrong?

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Hello!

Isn't it strange that the skills you've learned to approach women, get dates, sex, etc., don't seem to translate into building relationships? This is where many guys fail because, indeed the skills are different.

I hear this pretty often from readers that only study particular sections of my books because that's where they need immediate help (approach, pick-up, etc.) Then, when they start getting success they stop studying!

In both BAM1 & 2 you'll find all sorts of great information on exactly how to convert dating into a relationship - of any "type" you want; a casual relationship, a short-term relationship, a non-exclusive relationship, a long-term, exclusive relationship or even more. There are different sections in both books that talk specifically about these things and I strongly encourage you to study then thoroughly.

In order to convert regular dating into a relationship there has to be some expectation on the part of both people. If all she expects is to see you on weekends for instance, you're not getting very far. Relationships involve mingling aspects of your lives together. For instance, do you plan to spend the holidays together, meeting friends and family or are you simply going to go out (or in) together one night?

Another part of relationships you need to introduce is having some future plans beyond the next date or phone call. For instance, planning a fun activity a month or more away gives you (and she) expectations of your future. You can even spend a few dates beforehand discussing the event.

You also want to take some time to discuss what you both want in your future. That doesn't mean you need to start planning a family, but instead to simply get a picture of where you might be going both individually and as a potential couple.

One last thing that will help you establish a relationship is to establish some history. For instance, do you have photographs or keepsake items from your dates? If not, why not? These items not only help you both remember fun times you've had together, they also build a foundation for a future. It's fun to send a picture via email just to remind her of some fun you've had in the past.

Relationships can be complicated, and every one of them is unique. You'll never find any two that are the same. However, how you get there is always the same - but it doesn't happen by itself. You need to use some planning and organization to convert dating into something more.

Now, go hit the books!

Humor

This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, and are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off:

"A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments,
"See! That was more than 5 times a month!"

The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."

Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 10 times a month. What do YOU say to that?!"

Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.

The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!" The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, "That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!"

The husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back, "Sure, once a day! But ask the announcer if they were all with the same fat cow!!"

Contents

News

Relationship/Sex Tips

Reader Question

Humor